Navigating "The Red Zone"

My boot camp instructor, Steven Brown, calls this time of year “The Red Zone.” This is his way of warning us that the stresses of the holidays, combined with all the tempting sugars and carbs and extra alcohol that are put before us, can add up to weight gain. So, what are the dangers of The Red Zone for kids?

The upcoming cascade of holidays – Halloween, Thanksgiving, Chanukah/Christmas and sometimes even Valentine's Day – are super-fun for kids, but they present challenges. Extra travel is sometimes involved. Families are reconstituted as relatives visit us or host us. Sleep gets disrupted. There's a lot more sugar within grasp. Any and all of these things make some adults irritable, and kids are no different. The more we can practice moderation, keep to some kind of schedule, and maintain our standards for behavior (including parental follow-through!) the better off our kids will be.

I've noticed that adults and children process the “Before/During/After” of holidays very differently. For us, there's the big buildup, which can be stressful from the standpoint of planning, shopping, cooking – and budgeting. This is followed by the enjoyment of the holiday itself, and then a sheer drop-off as we bustle to return to “normal.” (Even the most ardent Noel-ophile I know is only too happy to box up the decorations, drop the kids back at school, and shuttle the in-laws to the airport right after Christmas!) For kids it's quite different. Their anticipation is unfettered and worry-free. Wild with anticipation, their only real challenge is waiting for the holiday to actually arrive. They relish the festivities and then what? There is a smooth, gradual slope back to normalcy as they savor the holiday's pleasures, chattering excitedly, reliving, and re-reliving the whole thing. (Any parent who has been treated to “The Dreidl Song” or “Jingle Bells” sometime around late January will know what I'm talking about.)

In the coming months, I hope you'll find useful strategies for mitigating the extra stimulation holidays present. I also hope you'll appreciate that your child's way of processing the Anticipation/Enjoyment/Afterglow may differ from yours.

In closing, I want to say a few last-minute words about Halloween. Part of the fun of the holiday is scaring and being scared. And it's only fun if the child can control the stimuli somewhat. Kids like to “play with their edge,” discovering where their fears lie, what they can tolerate, and how much is too much. Think of a child playing by the seashore. She ventures out as the waves recede, and then discovers whether she dares let them lap up on her ankles – or legs! – when they crash back up on the sand. If it's too scary, she backs up. Then she ventures forth again. Kids can do this for hours. They are playing with their edge, and it's both fascinating and fun because they have control. Insisting that a child confront a fear usually backfires horribly. Let them lead and you follow. This may mean involving a second adult who can take one child home, leaving any others to continue enjoying the festivities.

And don't be surprised if your child, who as a baby/toddler enjoyed last Halloween, has a very different “take” this year. Two-year-olds and some three-year-olds are famous for being scared stiff by disguises, especially masks. Sometimes at this age a very little bit can be too much.

Best of luck navigating The Red Zone!